


call me koushi

by honey_sweet



Series: haikyuu fics [7]
Category: haikyuu
Genre: Angst, Bokuto is clueless, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Himbo Bokuto, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Injury, Love Triangles, Mentioned nudity, Mild Blood, Nudity, Peeping, Pining, Post-Time Skip, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Soulmate Tattoos, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tattoos, Time-Skip Characters, Tokyo Training Camp Arc (Haikyuu), Unrequited Love, Volleyball Dorks in Love, What Have I Done, but he means no harm, lev haiba is a fucking idiot, negativity begone, noya and tanaka are pervs, sort of happy ending?, volleyball related injuries, volleyball shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:55:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28914210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_sweet/pseuds/honey_sweet
Summary: 'tis better to have loved and lost than to have never to have loved at all.- alfred lord tennysonor; the angsty, feels heavy love triangle fic that nobody asked for, but i couldnt stop thinking about.can be read as the origin story to the other kuroo fics.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Sugawara Koushi/Reader
Series: haikyuu fics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121123
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	call me koushi

**Author's Note:**

> im forcing my friend to be my beta reader because ive never had a beta reader in my fucking LIFE and its a life saver having someone look over my plots and work drafts before hand to tell me if its a worthwhile idea or if its complete nonsense
> 
> so kudos to my friend - for listening to all my plot ideas no matter how depressing and chaotic they are.
> 
> TW// slight mention of blood? its only a nosebleed, nothing gratuitous

"Now we've officially started summer break, you're free to practice from morning 'til night. Tomorrow, we're going to training camp in Tokyo. This time we're going for a whole week - it's the first and last long term training camp before preliminaries. The Spring Nationals are just around the corner... use this opportunity to learn everything you can!" Takeda explained, lecturing the group of tired teenagers gathered around him.

You and Kiyoko were too busy putting away the practice jerseys into the storeroom, trying to make cleanup faster for when the boys were brought away from their brief lecture from Takeda and Coach Ukai.

"Be here bright and early tomorrow so we can leave on time!" Takeda added, waving as he bounded out of the gym door, leaving the team in the hands of Coach Ukai and Captain Sawamura.

You brushed Kiyoko away, "I've got this. Maybe you should go see how Yachi is doing. She's not the best on her own."

Kiyoko smiled back, understanding the implied ' _Yachi is probably freaking out right now, go help.'_ That your words held. Yachi was still very new on her feet as a manager, and while you were no seasoned veteran, you'd at least been at it for a few months before Yachi had arrived. You knew Kiyoko had hopes that when you and the rest of the third year students left, Yachi would take over as the new manager of the club.

She was still too nervous and jumpy on her own though, she didn't really have the authority to be the manager when you and Kiyoko graduated - but she was slowly beginning to fit in day by day, the team were growing used to her and she was slowly morphing into the bold young woman Kiyoko hoped she would become.

A stray ball came flying through the doors of the storeroom and ricocheted off the back wall towards you. Unthinking, you flung your hand out to knock it away from your face, only to end up sending it right back where it came from. Poor Hinata caught the ball he had been chasing square in the chest and went flying backwards with the impact.

"Holy shit! Hinata are you okay?" You cried, dropping the last of the jerseys into the basket and whirling around to face your unsuspecting victim. "Hinata?" You ask, waving your hand in front of his face where he was laid out on the floor like a starfish. The subtle laughter of Tsukishima in the background was drowned out by Kageyama loudly scolding Hinata for being so _careless, you idiot!_ Dachi stood fuming with his hands on his hips, ashamed that his team couldn't act like adults for _one_ moment while Suga quietly approached to help Hinata up.

Before either yourself or Sugawara could begin to hoist Hinata from the floor, the tiny red-head bounced up on his own, grinning and wiping his dusty face from the gym floor. Suga watched you practically deflate with relief realising that the first year was fine and you hadn't actually killed him. Good, or the liability for murder would heavily fallen your shoulders there, and you didn't like the idea of being arrested any time soon.

As the small ginger ran away and was collared by an irritated Kageyama, Suga laughed as he watched you go between frowning to relieved and back to frowning.

"One day he's going to get taken out by a ball and _actually_ die." You sighed, cursing as you stood up from the floor yourself.

Suga shrugged in response: "I'm sure that if _anything_ is going to kill Hinata it won't be volleyball. More likely food poisoning." He shuffled awkardly on the spot for a moment, unsure if he should stay or leave.

"You should go get changed with the rest of the boys while Kiyoko and I finish up here." You said, encouraging him to follow his teammates.

"Go before Daichi comes back for you," You added with a smile, already turning to help Kiyoko lower one of the nets.

*

There was a chill in the air as you twisted the key into the lock of the gym door and headed to wait by the club room for the guys to walk home with. 

“See you both in the morning,” You waved at Kiyoko as she strolled away in the opposite direction with Yachi. 

Lingering in the air was a sense of anticipation, the thrill of what tomorrow would bring. The chances to learn new tricks and get ahead of the game for prelims - there were so many things your team could pick up from the Tokyo teams, and you were going to make sure they maximised their chances. 

Spinning the key idly on your finger, you waited by the stairs for Daichi to come down and collect the key from you. 

“We’ll be down in a minute!” Suga called, leaning over the railing above you and staring down with a lopsided grin. 

“Hurry up before I freeze!” You replied, flashing a grin back at him. 

“You won’t freeze, it’s the middle of summer.” He threw back, disappearing into the clubroom once more.

You shook your head, pacing back and forth in front of the metal stairs, growing impatient. 

Hinata came bounding down the stairs first, bag swinging wildly behind him as he went. Your heartbeat raised as you watched him jump off three steps before the bottom and barely land on his feet. 

“He’s going to give me a heart attack one day.” You frowned at Suga, pointing at the oblivious red head. 

Suga laughed and joined you at the bottom of the stairs, gently taking the key from your hand and tossing it up to Daichi on the top of the steps.You tried not to let your mind linger on the fleeting touch of his skin.  


Once you had all congregated and Daichi had closed the clubroom, a large huddle of you all headed off down the hill in the same direction.  Usually after practice you and the boys who lived nearby would visit Ukai’s store for snacks and then walk home together. It was like a mini routine you all had. Tsukki would pretend he didn’t want to be there but would tag along anyway with his headphones on, only ever speaking to Tadashi. Noya and Tanaka would take turns giving each other piggy back rides down the hill and that left the third year boys and yourself to walk at your own (more civilised) pace. 

"You never got to go to the last training camp, did you?" Daichi asked, turning to look at you. 

"I would have come along if I wasn't sick," You sighed, adjusting the weight of your gym back over your shoulders. "This one is the real deal though, a whole week to practice." 

"This will be our last training camp," Asahi mumbled quietly, staring ahead as Sakanoshita store came into view. 

Suga whirled around and slapped him in the ribs, hard. "Enough of the sentimental rubbish! We haven't even been to the camp yet. And we still have Nationals to play before you can get all sad about it." 

"I'm sorry!" Asahi cried, guarding his stomach from Suga's angry slapping. "I was just pointing it out!"

"He is right," You said, reaching over to pull Suga away from Asahi. "It will be the last training camp, but that doesn't mean we should be sad about it. It's a chance for us to learn as much as we can before pre-lims. That should be cause to be happy, not moping around." 

Daichi just nodded solemnly beside you, pushing his hands into his pockets as you all continued to the front of Ukai's store. Nobody else seemed to need to add anything onto what you had said, Asahi was just glad Suga had stopped slapping him out of his negative mindset and Daichi was welcoming some peace and quiet finally. Tsukki and Tadashi vanished inside the store after Noya and Tanaka, and Daichi followed. You stayed outside with Suga and Asahi, waiting for the meat buns Daichi promised to pick up from Coach. 

"We're going to give Coach that Nekoma showdown at Nationals, I just know it." You grinned, leaning your head back to look into the dusky evening sky.

"Now who's getting sentimental?" Asahi mumbled, warily glancing at Suga for fear of another punch.

"I just have a good feeling about nationals, that's all." You add, not falling for Asahi's negative mindset. He was such a gentle giant, but he really did have a habit of assuming the worst before it even happened.

Suga was about to open his mouth to reply when Noya came sprinting out of the shop with an entire popsicle in his mouth, incoherently goading Tanaka as he went. Daichi followed, frowning but used to their behaviour. Taking one of the meat buns from Daichi, you thanked him and sat down on the concrete infront of the shop doorway. Suga dropped his bag and sat beside you, stretching his long legs out in front of himself. 

"How good actually is Nekoma? I've never seen them play before." You asked, looking up at where Daichi stood infront of you both. 

"They have a very solid defence, last time it seemed like they were playing the long game to wear us out." He replied, biting into his own meat bun. 

"Their setter is observant too, I don't think we'll get much past him." Suga piped up. "The biggest challenge will be figuring him out before we're too exhausted to keep up."

"So they have their very own Kageyama, huh?" You asked.

"They have been to nationals before, so that puts them at an advantage too. They're seasoned veterans." 

"Never overlook the underdog." You laughed, finishing your mouthful and leaning back onto the shop forecourt. 

"What are you doing?" Came a loud voice from behind you. Surprised, you jolted upright and wheeled around to look at the source of the noise. Standing there, Ukai angrily had a hand on his hip with a broom clenched in the other fist.

"I told you to go home and go to bed! You need to be back here before 6am tomorrow." Keishin cried, swatting at you and Suga with his brush to make you stand. 

"Sorry coach!" You yelled over your shoulder as Suga and Daichi began to usher the first and second years away from Sakanoshita. 

A short while down the path, you met with the crossroads. Tsukki walked away without saying anything, Yamaguchi quietly following after waving a meek goodbye. Noya and Tanaka part ways with a fist bump as Daichi and Asahi also peel away towards their respective homes. 

"See you guys in the morning. Don't stay up late." Daichi called as he walked away. You and Suga were left to stand together while the others headed home. 

"Let's get going then." Suga breathed, setting off down the road towards your houses. 

The silence was refreshing in the dusky evening while the streetlights turned on one by one in the distance. Suga kept his hands in his pockets, not quite knowing what to do. It was always fine being around you when the other guys were there, but being alone still put him in an awkward spot even after walking you home for almost the last year. He tried, but he couldn't help the fact that around you he was nervous. That confident, authoritative third year that he was on the court was nowhere to be found when you fell in step beside him and tipped your head back to watch the clouds cover the moon.

Maybe all the teasing from the other boys behind the closed doors of the clubroom was right, he was hopless. He smiled as he looked down at his feet, knowing that Daichi was right. Suga was gone - fallen hook, line and sinker. 

You both begin to slow as your house comes into view, knowing that Suga would carry on until the end of the street once you had left.  


"Thanks for walking me home, Suga. I'll see you in the morning!" You called, walking backwards up your driveway. "Sleep well."  


"...Call me Koushi," Suga mumbled under his breath as he watched you reach your own front door.

You waved, he waved back. 

*

You yawned, staggering off the bus on shaky, tired legs. The last few hours you'd been cramped into a tiny seat and you'd been constantly rattled awake whenever the bus hit a particularly deep pothole in the road. It was certainly not a comfortable sleep, and despite actually going to bed early like you promised Suga, you were still exhausted. Your body was not your biggest fan, all your muscles aching as you rose from your cramped seat with your bag in hand.

You stood between Suga and Asahi, all three of you sullenly stretching your stiff muscles and helping Coach take all of the bags out of the back of the van. Daichi had vanished to go find the other captains who were meeting them to show you all to your classroom, leaving the rest of the third years to keep an eye on the younger boys while also making sure nobody forgot their bags. You weren't fully sure if you were mad because you'd been woken up several times from your nap or if you were mad because Daichi had left the rest of you in the lurch last minute.

Eventually, when everyone had their things and the bus had been thoroughly vacated, Daichi returned with a lanky male with wild black hair. Presumably he was one of the Tokyo captains, although for which team you had no idea whatsoever.

"So, is that the Tokyo Tower over there?" You heard Hinata cry in the distance, excitedly nudging a slender boy with bleached hair.

"No, that's just a normal radio tower." The other boy replied quietly. "Sorry."

"What's the deal? You guys don't have steel towers in Miyagi? Is this, like, a real thing I don't know about?" Teased the Tokyo captain, grinning lazily at you all standing by the bus.

"Oh, well excuse us simple country folk if we don't know what the Tokyo tower looks like." Daichi shot back, tilting his head back to stare down the stranger with the dark hair. You assumed they must know each other because of the last training camp, but you don't push. You simply join the crowd following the stranger towards Shinzen high school.

"Ah- this is Saitama. We're not even _in_ Tokyo." You pointed out. Suga laughed quietly beside you as you all trudged along.

*

"I want recieve and serve practice now, make sure you're roatating. The sets won't begin for another half an hour. I want at least one spike rotation for the front line. We'll be swapping players constantly, so be prepared for that." Keishin intructs, pointing out the far corner of the gym where Kiyoko and Yachi were already setting up. Every other team captain was already running their team through their warm ups, and Daichi followed suit by leading the team away.

"Can you go find Nekomata and ask for the schedule?" Ukai turns to look at you, hands on his hips as the rest of the team follow Daichi in their stretching.

"Sure thing." You say, picking up your water bottle from the bench and heading for the door.

*

You clutched at the game schedule in your hand, covered in the last minute changes scrawled in Nekomata's red pen. Taking a swig from your water bottle, you glance over at the Karasuno listings. There were no changes to your sets, just a slightly longer break between the Nekoma and Shinzen matches. That was good news, it would give the boys more time in the afternoon to regroup and go over strategies with Coach.

You strolled into the gym, flipping over the sheet to take a glance at the listings for tomorrow. The sounds of volleyballs ricocheting off the walls and floor, deflected by recieves and shot down by spikes were all that you could hear while the teams all warmed up before the start of the first sets.

"Hey, excuse me? Are you busy?" Came a voice. You didn't particularly pay attention to it, not thinking you were being spoken to. "You there, in the Karasuno jacket!" It came again.

You looked up at that, not sure who was talking to you. Turning around, you notice the Nekoma captain leaning against the pole for the net, beckoning you over.

"Are you busy?" He repeats, catching your gaze.

"No - sorry, did you need something?" You reply, turning on your heel to head over to him.

"Can you just help me raise the net up?" He asks, gesturing at the other pole on the opposite side of the court. "It's just a bit too low."

"Sure." You replied, placing your schedule on the floor and pinning it in place with the bottle. "Who hung it this low? You might as well not have a net." You laugh, loosening the net locks to allow the slack to drop out.

"It was your manager, the blonde one? I think she was setting them up earlier." He replies, letting the now completely slack net drop to the floor.

You both removed the pins from your poles and lifted them to the groove slightly higher than before.

"Oh, Yachi? Yeah that makes sense. She's new."

"I figured," He nods thoughtfully, reaching up to pull the top rope over the pole to hook it. "I didn't see her at the Golden Week match. But then again, I didn't see you at the last training camp either." He pointed out, glancing over the rim of the loose net to meet your gaze.

You shrug, taking up your own end of the slack net. "I was sick last time, so I had to pass."

He nods, without adding anything else while you both secured the net.

"Are you sure you're going to reach that? Do you need a stool or something to stand on?" He pipes up, leaning against the pole with his arms folded and the most shit-eating grin you'd ever seen.

"You're just hilarious." You sigh, but a smile crept out from your teeth nonetheless.

"Just making sure." He cackles, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"Thank you for your help," He added on sincerely. Well, you didn't expect that one.

"You're welcome," You smile, tying the slipknot around the crank hook.

"Kuroo Tetsurou, nice to meet you." He says, handing you back your water bottle and paper schedule. "I can take it from here."

You introduce yourself, shaking the hand he offered in greeting. "See you around, Kuroo."

Finally, you managed to head over to your team, sipping from your water bottle as you went.

"I got the schedule, we have no game changes, just a longer break this afternoon." You say, passing the sheet over to Coach Ukai when you approach his seat on the bench. He takes it from you, brow furrowed as he reads the listings. He nods to himself a few times before standing up and calling the team over.

He pushes his tracksuit sleeves up to the elbow, sternly looking around at the gathered team members in their practice jerseys. Suga looks over at you, smiling. He subtly gestures at you to come over to him, reaching his hand out towards you.

"Can I have some of your water? I'm dying in this heat." He whispers when you get close enough.

"I'll go fill the bottles up. Stop trying to steal mine." You laugh quietly, pushing the drink behind your back where he can't reach it.

"Life saver." He grins, sticking you a thumbs up as you process that he just played you for his water refilling. You shake your head in mock anger at him, wagging a finger in his face as you try reprimand him for his sly games.

"Hey!" Hinata calls as you begin to turn away from Suga. "Are you not warm in that jacket? I'm boiling over here!"

"Well, I'm not really moving around like you guys are." You blush, trying to divert the question. "Anyway, I'll be back with the water soon."

"Sugawara! Are you listening?" Ukai grumbles, fixing his stare at the setter. He flushes, pretending to zip his lips as you walk away with the water bottle carrier.

*

Heading back from the sink, you heave the carrier up a little higher to adjust your grip on it. Damn you for offering to fill them up. It wasn't your fault that Suga could pretty much convince you of anything when he smiled like that. Damn that boy.

As you rounded the corner towards the gym, a large mass slammed into you at the last minute. The giant, bounding frame of the Nekoma first year stumbled backwards while you overbalanced with the weight of the water bottles in your hand.

When you landed on the floor, the previously secured bottles rocked out of their holder and rolled out in all directions. The water you'd just spent the last ten minutes filling up was now all over yourself and the floor, seeping through your thick Karasuno track jacket.

"Lev! Watch where you're going!" Kuroo reprimanded, pulling Lev back by his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Kuroo. I didn't see her there-" Lev mumbled, twiddling his fingers together anxiously. The absolute giant, Lev Haiba, was currently blushing and cowering at the angry glare Kuroo was sending his way.

"That's exactly why I told you to slow down!" Kuroo whirled around, making an exasperated hand gesture. "Are you okay?" He asked in a more gentle tone, turning to look at you.

You nodded, wiping away some of the water pooling on your tracksuit trousers before they got too soaked as well. Wordlessly, he offered you his hand and pulled you from the accumulating puddle of drinking water that the bottles were still pouring out onto the floor.

"Lev, I believe you have something to say to the lady." Kuroo says, turning around and folding his arms expectantly.

"I'm sorry, I'll clean this up." He mumbles, messing with his hands.

"It's okay. I can always refill these." You point out, starting to pick the spilled bottles up one by one and replace them in the carrier.

"Lev, go fill these back up and take them to the Karasuno team. We can clean this up." Kuroo sighed, bending down to collect the last two stray bottles.

"Okay." Lev whispered, reaching down to take the carrier from you. "Um-" Lev added.

"What?" Kuroo sighed, rubbing at his eyes in annoyance.

"Are you not warm in that jacket?" Lev asks you, only meeting your gaze for a second or two.

"Oh-" You stutter. "No, no I'm kind of cold... I guess," You lie, not wanting to have to take your jacket off.

"If you're cold, you can take mine and go get changed into something dry." Kuroo replies quickly, sliding his own Nekoma track jacket from his shoulders.

"No- no it's okay. I'm sure I can find a spare Karasuno one." You protest.

"...You just said you're cold. Take it while you get yours dried." He insists, holding out the jacket to you.

"...Thank you." You smile, looking at the floor.

"Go get changed, you'll only be more cold if you're wearing soaked clothes." He points out.

"I'll make a start on _this,"_ he laughs, gesturing at the sizeable puddle in the middle of the corridor. Lev was already heading back where he came from to try replace the water before Kuroo yelled at him any more.

"I'll be back as quick as I can," You say, quickly turning and dashing for the stairs leading up to the second floor classroom where everyone had just dropped their bags before heading straight for the gym.

Sighing, Kuroo heads for the closest storage cupboard to try and find a mop to clean up after his idiot of a teammate. He had managed to get most of it cleaned up to the point it was no longer a hazard for people to slip on by the time Lev returned with the refilled bottles.

"Kuroo, I got the bottles refilled." Lev calls at him down the corridor. You haven't made it back yet, presumably you were still changing. Kuroo sighed once more.

"Come on then, Lev. Let's get these to where they need to be." Kuroo leads the way towards the gymnasium, Lev trailing behind with the large carrier of water.

Karasuno were still warming up, as were the rest of the teams. From the doorway, Kuroo spotted Daichi and that tiny carrot-top first year talking at the far side of the gym. Lev was still trailing behind Kuroo, not even attempting to head over to Hinata out of fear that Kuroo would give him extra receiving drills as punishment. 

"Excuse me." Kuroo called, the two Nekoma students towering over Daichi and Hinata.

"Can we help you?" Daichi asked, turning away from his conversation with Hinata. Suga turned his head in the direction of the newcomers out of mild curiosity.

"My underclassman has something to say to you all." Kuroo said, stepping aside so Lev could no longer hide behind him.

"Hey Lev!" Cried Hinata, uncaring of the other conversation going on. "What are you doing over here?"

Lev cleared his throat, awkwardly shifting the water carrier in his hands. "I- I'm here to deliver your water bottles." He shuffled on his feet, thrusting the carrier towards Daichi.

Confused, Daichi took the water from the tall boy. "Well, thank you. But why are you delivering them?"

Daichi and Suga glanced between the Tokyo players in confusion. Lev shot Kuroo a pleading look, as if to try escape the situation. Kuroo just folded his arms and raised his eyebrows as a prompt. Lev sighed, looking at his feet as he bowed.

"I kind of... knocked your manager over on her way back here..." He admitted.

"Is she okay?" Suga pipes up, slightly distressed.

Kuroo waves his hand, features softening. "She's okay. I told her to go change into some dry clothes while Lev refilled your water."

Suga just nods absently, still planning to check on you when he had the afternoon break.

"Thanks for letting us know, I guess we'll see you later." Daichi nods, setting the water on the ground by his feet. Kuroo nods back at his fellow captain, leading Lev back towards where the rest of the Nekoma team were warming up.

"I'm telling Yaku about this." Kuroo quietly whispers to Lev when they're out of earshot.

*

The heat was really taking it's toll on everyone in the gym, and it didn't help that there were five teams moving around at the same time. Every door and window had been cranked open, but the dry, hot wind was offering no relief in the slightest. Suga found himself hunched over on one of the benches outside, taking long, desperate swigs from his water bottle. Daichi was leaning on the wall beside him, futilely trying to wipe away the sweat gathered on his forehead.

Some of the other boys were sprawled out like starfish on the grassy slope, chests heaving from the penalty run they just completed.

"Take a break for a while, catch your breath. But be back here in twenty minutes so we can go over the game plan before we go against Shinzen." Ukai called, leaning against the doorway to the gymnasium.

Some of the boys just groaned at the prospect of versing Shinzen, but some of the smarter second and first years made a slow crusade towards the shade of the trees in the distance. Sighing, Suga threw his head back against the wall behind him.

"I'm going to the bathroom," He groaned, stretching his back out as he stood from the bench. Placing his water in the shade of the doorway, he turns on his heel and heads back inside.

It was so uncomfortably hot, and there was no respite from it. The water was lukewarm all the time and there was no breeze to take their sweltering discomfort away. Really, the bathroom excuse was to just try and find wherever you had vanished to - he'd not seen you since you left the gym earlier with the water bottles, surely you couldn't still be changing? If you were then you'd missed two sets since you vanished.

Taking the stairs two at a time, he makes his way up to the second floor of the main school building, trying to remember the way towards the classroom Karasuno had been assigned to stay in. That was the first place he thought to check, realising that if you weren't in the gym, that would be the only other place you would realistically have gone to. As he rounds the corner, Suga hears some heavy shuffling and the occasional thud coming from somewhere down the corridor, echoing through the empty classrooms lining the entire hallway. Curiously, he pokes his head into class 1-9, hoping to see you in the Karasuno team room. 

And he does find you.

You're pacing around the room, headphones in, sweating heavily as you drag futons from the doorway into the middle of the room to make a sleeping space. Your laboured breaths from the heat could be heard from outside the room as you dragged the bedding around all by yourself. Before he knocks on the door to alert you of his arrival, he freezes on the spot for a second or two.

Just _why_ on earth are you wearing a Nekoma jacket instead of your Karasuno track one? And _why_ on earth are you even wearing one in this heat anyway? Confused, Suga knocks on the door to anounce himself.

"Need some help?" He asks, snapping your attention to him. You freeze in the middle of throwing a duvet onto one of the futons, removing one of your headphones.

"No- I'm doing fine." You grin back, bending over to straighten the duvet out.

"What's with the jacket? Are you not warm?" He asks, wordlessly pacing over and taking up one of the rolled up duvets himself.

You wave him away with a blush. "No, no. I like having my jacket on."

He clears his throat, uncertain of if he should ask what he wants to ask. He takes a moment in the silence of you both dragging the futons into lines along the walls to think to himself.

"So, the Nekoma captain came over with that first year to apologise about knocking you over earlier. You doing okay?" He asks, putting his hands on his hips after tossing a pair of pillows onto the sleeping mats in the far corner.

"I'm fine. My clothes got soaked though, so they're drying off while I do this." You reply, gesturing over at your dripping wet Karasuno jacket sprawled over the top of the windowsil, slowly undulating in the breeze.

"...You could have come and got my jacket." He adds, suddenly very unsure of why he was saying that.

"You were busy playing, and I didn't want to disrupt that. I'm fine anyway, my jacket will be dry by this evening. No harm done." You grin, moving one of the boy's backpacks aside to clear a space for the last few futons for the team. 

"I wouldn't have minded." He replies, turning away to hide his embarrassed grimace under the pretence of fixing up one of the pillows (which was already perfectly fine, but he didn't want to look at you right now.)

"Suga, it's fine. Really," You turn around, nudging him with a smile.

"Come on - I'll bring the futons over if you can do the duvets." He replies, brushing the conversation away.

"Are you just trying to avoid practicing?" You laugh, gently swatting him with the pillow in your hand.

He laughs a little in response, shrugging back at you as he drags the final two futons into place by the windows. "Maybe."

"I'll snitch to Coach." You joke, and he knows you don't mean a word of it.

You work in silence, and he stews in his thoughts for a while about the sour feeling behind his bellybutton that arises whenever he catches a glimpse of you wearing the Nekoma Captain's track jacket. He tells himself he's hurt because the team just lost a set to Nekoma, but he isn't sure he fully believes himself.

*

You sigh, leaning back in your chair and attempting to stretch your spine over the backrest. The tension leaves your back in a series of satisfying crunches as you slowly turn your torso side to side, returning to rest your elbows on the table infront of Kiyoko and Yachi. You were settled down in the room next to the Karasuno boys, thankfully allowing you all some peace and quite but also some privacy too. Although, the peace and quiet was being ruined by some of the second years in the room next door to you all having a rowdy conversation and the occasional dull thuds sounded suspiciously like a pillow fight was going on since Daichi wasn't around.

Some of the more determined third and first years on your team were still out practicing as long as they could before food was served later on, leaving the likes of Noya and Tanaka alone with Narita to control. You were brought out of your tired reverie by a timid knock at the door.

"Hey... the rest of the managers are going to the baths now. Do you guys want to join us?" Came the bubbly yet uncertain voice of Eri Miyanoshita from the doorway. The young Ubugawa manager winced at a particularly loud thud of a pillow hitting the wall in the adjactent room.

"Sure, why not?" You sigh tiredly as you heave yourself up from the chair and rifle around for your wash bag in the mess of your mattress.

Kiyoko and Yachi timidly follow behind you, not the biggest talkers when it came to strangers. Thankfully, the managers at the camp had all been easy enough to get to know.

Eri leads you expertly through the winding corridors of Shinzen high, presumably from attending the training camps there in the past. The baths in the girl's side of the gyms were already steamed up from the Shinzen and Fukurodani managers warming the water up while Eri had gone to track you guys down. It was humid in the room, and you froze in the threshhold of the room as the door closed behind you and Mako and Yukie began making small talk as they started undressing. You had made a major oversight.

Noticing your slightly apprehensive expression, Kiyoko turned to you: "This is common practice in Japan. There's no reason to be uncomfortable," She tried to reassure you, realising that the non-native Karasuno student was probably a bit shocked at what was happening.

You shook your head slightly, knowing this was normal in Japan. That wasn't what was concerning you.

"No... I'm not uncomfortable," You mumble in response, the embarrassment bringing a flush to your face that was disguised by the steam gathering in the room.

"It's fine, come relax." Yukie says, stepping into the large waist-high bath in the centre of the room. You dither on the spot for a moment, not sure what to do. You couldn't exactly leave now, but you also didn't want to stay and freak them all out when you got changed.

Kiyoko offered a reassuing smile to you as she headed to place her clothes in one of the lockers lining the far wall. Uncertain, you followed behind Kiyoko at a distance, shower bag in hand.

Trying your best to hide yourself from view behind one of the locker doors, you undressed. Which you realised was a useless endeavour because they'd have to see _eventually_ and there really was no hiding it now. You'd fucked up. You really should have thought things through better before agreeing to come to the baths. You took a deep breath to gather yourself, but realised it was useless as the room went silent and all small talk had ceased.

There were a few shocked murmurs going around the room behind your back and you flushed once more, tying your hair out of the way and trying to compose yourself before facing your friends. You knew why they would be shocked, the cultural difference from where you'd lived before was a very wide gap when compared to Japan.

You knew tattoos other than soulmate marks tended to be a bit taboo, especially in small, rural towns. 

"Are they real?" Came the clipped, somewhat worried voice of Yukie. She had sank up to her chin in the water and was pinning you with a rather apprehensive stare.

"...They're real." You say slowly, extending your ink-covered arms towards them all. Your legs were also coiled with linework, some creeping up into your hips and lower back. "I got them before I moved to Japan. I didn't want to freak you guys out." You admit, embarrassed tears pooling at your waterline. You tried to pass it off as steam gathering on your face.

"Is that why you've been wearing a jacket all day?" Mako asks, fiddling with her hands in the warm water.

You nod, lacing your fingers behind your back and staring at the tiled floor.

"Just- can we keep this a secret?" You ask, meeting Kiyoko's gaze.

"Of course. You got them before you moved, they're a common thing to have." Yachi pipes up, trying to awkardly cover the silence of the atmosphere. The rest of the girls offer up silent affirmations and you take the opportunity to shuffle timidly towards the water and sink underneath.

Kaori giggles all of a sudden, glancing at you. "How do you even remember which one is your soulmate tattoo? I know I'd never be able to keep track."

"Everyone remembers their soulmate tattoo." Yukie adds, rolling her eyes. She glances at you, and you can tell everybody in the room has a thousand questions to ask you.

"You can ask me, I know you all want to say something." You say, sinking to your chin in the water.

A clamour of questions erupts at once, voices overlapping as curious girls try to find out as much as they can about the life of the foreign student practically covered ankle to shoulder in tattoos.

You blink, a little shocked, and try to answer them as fast as possible.

*

"Dude, this is such a good idea." Tanaka whispers as he and Noya sneak through the boy's gym and into the girl's building.

"A perfect opportunity," Noya whispers back, slowly cracking open the door to the baths. They crouch in the doorway, peering through the steam of the tiled room. Suddenly, Noya freezes in position.

"I can't see anything, where is Kiyoko?" Tanaka whispers, nudging his friend.

"...Tanaka..." Noya warns, eyes wide in shock. "Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"The new girl... look at her." Noya points out.

"Oh my god. We need to tell Daichi," Tanaka gasps, seeing you tattooed shoulders rising out of the bathwater beside Kiyoko's. He could barely make it out for the steam coming from the other girls washing their hair under the showers, but he could see the ink patterns clearly enough to know it was a problem.

They glance at each other briefly, then take off down the corridor back from where they came. They bounced lightly on their feet for fear of alerting the girls to the sounds of their footsteps. When they hit the corner, they skidded around it at full speed and took off running properly towards the boy's gym, now confidently out of hearing range. Panting, chests heaving, the two burst through the doors for the second gym where they knew Daichi and Suga had said they'd gone to practice earlier.

"What is going on?" Daichi calls, straightening up from his position ready to recieve one of Bokuto's spikes. On the other side of the net Suga paused in place, catching the ball in his hands instead of setting to Fukurodani's ace. Apparently their practice had attracted two Tokyo players, as the captains from Nekoma and Fukurodani had also decided to join in.

"Daichi- you need to come see this, dude." Tanaka pants as he tries to get his breath back, doubling over with his hands on his knees.

"What did you two do?" Suga asks, an amused smirk playing across his face.

"We think the new girl is in a gang." Noya fills in, staring right at his captain.

"What are you talking about?" Suga asks, the playful look completely dropping from his face. He doesn't notice, but Kuroo and Daichi exchange knowing glances with each other.

"We were just outside the girl's bathroom and we saw-" Noya begins.

"You were _what_?" Daichi yells, cutting the second year off in the middle of his sentence. Suga puts one hand on his hip in angry disapproval while Bokuto's face lights up at the drama unfolding in front of his eyes. The tall spiker thoroughly enjoyed any type of excitement thrown his way, and even if it wasn't any of his business, he would of course be sticking his nose in.

"We... saw her in the shower..." Tanaka admits, meekly. Daichi looks furious, the sweat on his forehead gathering in his furrowed brow. He is beyond angry, and Tanaka is worried about what is going to happen to them.

"What the hell were you two thinking?" Daichi yells, striding over to the two of them. Even Kuroo flinches a little at Daichi's raised voice. "I thought you two knew better. This is serious, what the hell were you thinking?"

"Daichi, trust us. We really do think she's in a gang. Please, just come take a look. It's serious." Noya bargains.

"I swear to god-" Daichi growls, yanking the both of them by the collars. "You'd best be correct about this or you're _dead._ "

Suga hurredly follows after his friend and captain, slightly concerned for what would happen to Noya and Tanaka if Daichi got even more mad at the two of them. Kuroo and Bokuto followed along, exchanging mischevious grins as they waited to find out what Daichi would do. Nothing this interesting ever happened at the other training camps, so there was _no way_ they were missing out on this one. Wordlessly, they all made their way towards the girl's bathroom, Daichi leading with Noya and Tanaka's shirt collars in his tight grip.

In the time it had taken for Tanaka and Noya to find (and convince) Daichi, most of the girls had left. It was just yourself and Kiyoko in there, but Kiyoko had vanished around the corner to change while you stayed in the shower to wash your hair. You'd let Yachi go before you, opting to have a quiet heart-to-heart with Kiyoko and made her promise to try and keep your little secret on the down-low. Unbeknownst to you, it would be useless anyway, as there was a small crowd gathered outside the slightly ajar bathroom door. Your secret was about to be _very_ public, and you had no idea what was happening.

Meanwhile, Suga was flustered with the sight before him, the planes of your bare back were sending his head in every direction imaginable. 

His first coherent thought once his embarrassment had settled was to search your left shoulder for the same mark he had on his own shoulder. All he needed was for you to turn around slightly so he could spot that familiar patch of ink that would tell him you were meant to be by his side - but you didn’t turn away from the stream of water pouring down your face. He just needed a tiny glance.

“See? I told you Daichi!” Noya whisper-yelled, pulling on the captain’s sleeve. “She’s in a gang, I’m telling you.” 

“She’s not in a gang! And that doesn’t excuse you from staring at the girls in the shower. It’s so unbelievably wrong - and you’re going to apologise in the morning.” Daichi grumbled back, swatting Noya away and fixing Tanaka with a withering stare. 

Suga was too fixated on trying to catch a glimpse of your shoulder that he almost missed the conversation behind him.

“Dude!” Bokuto hissed, yanking at Kuroo’s shirt collar. “That’s the same tattoo you’ve got on your back!” He added in a stage whisper. Kuroo made a choking sound from the strength his friend put into tugging at his shirt. It bunched aroud the front of his neck while Bokuro kept tugging at the fabtic.  


“Stop...” Kuroo whispered, trying to slap the excited boy’s hands away from the back of his neck. Bokuto was undeterred, excitedly trying to pull Kuroo’s collar down to expose the gap between his shoulder blades. 

“Cut it out!” Kuroo repeated, trying to spin around and turn away from his friend.

“But she’s your soulmate!” Bokuto argued, landing his hands square on Kuroo’s shoulders. 

Everyone went silent. 

Kuroo tried to not look at Suga, for fear of the guilt inside him bubbling over and spilling out in a rather embarrassing way. He didn’t want to ruin the setter’s pride, nor did he want to hurt his feelings either.  It was tense while everyone looked between each other and then finally, towards Suga. 

“Well, food should be ready in a while. We should probably hit the showers too before the first years take over.” Suga laughed, clapping Daichi on the shoulder and heading off down the corridor. 

Kuroo cursed under his breath, pleading eyes looking to Daichi for help. 

“I’ll take care of him.” Daichi replied, watching Kuroo’s shoulders curl forward with guilt.  Daichi ushered Tanaka and Noya away from the showers, continuing scolding them as he dragged them by their collars. 

“I feel so bad...” Bokuto sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay.” Kuroo smiled, but it did not quite reach his guilt-heavy eyes. 

*

Sighing, Daichi rolled over onto his side, trying to find a cold patch on the mattress. He'd already flipped his pillow over several times to try find some relief from the Tokyo summer heat, but his shirt was still sticking stubbornly to his chest with a thin layer of sweat. They had pushed all the windows open before sleeping but it had done nothing to fight against the sweltering atmosphere in the room.

Daichi laid there, mouth dry and hair slicked against his forehead with sweat. He grunted as he rolled around, kicking the blanket away from his legs in frustration. Everyone else in the room had also kicked their blankets away from themselves or at the very least stuck their legs out of the sides of the duvet.

Aside from one.

As Daichi rolled over onto his side, he furrowed his brows at the hunched form beside him in the dark. Disoriented from waking up, he couldn't immediately tell his left from right in the foggy frustration of his tired mind, so he didn't immediately register if it was Asahi or Suga facing away from him with the blankets pulled up to their ears. He sat up on his futon a little, kicking the knotted blanket off his ankles.

"Are you okay?" He whispers into the darkness, realising that he was stupid to not have recognised which one of his friends was hunched in the dark like this, not sleeping. Of course it would be Suga after the evening's revelation.

Startled, Suga's shoulders stiffened up beneath the blanket. Not turning over to even glance at Daichi, he quietly replies:

"Yeah I'm fine. Just too warm to sleep."

"You'd be a lot less warm if you didn't have the duvet up that high." Daichi pointed out.

Suga stays silent, and Daichi wonders if he has actually fallen asleep before his friend rolls over onto his back. He lets his legs splay out on the mattress and pushes the duvet away from his face as he stares up at the ceiling with furrowed brows.

"I'll be fine. I just need a while." He sighs quietly, and even though Daichi spots the tears gathered along Suga's waterline, he doesn't point them out.

"It's understandable if you're not okay right now."

"... I knew it _might_ happen. I just didn't want to think that it _would."_ Suga replies, rubbing his eye sockets with the heels of his palms.

"It's probably not what you want to hear right now, but this just means that there's someone else that's even better fitted to you. Someone you're going to love even more." Daichi whispers, fanning himself with his damp shirt collar.

"You're right. I didn't want to hear that. But you're not wrong." Suga admits, turning his pillow over tiredly. "Doesn't make it hurt any less."

"It probably won't stop hurting for a while, and I'm not going to tell you to just get over it because that's not how things work." Daichi also flops down onto his back, lying beside his dear friend. "But I'm just saying it's not the end of the world, even if it feels like it right now."

"I know, I just wish it wasn't _him,_ " Suga whispers with a shaky breath, folding his arms behind his head and staring up at the dark ceiling. He lays there in the darkness, hoping for a breeze to pass through the window and offer him the tiny bit of comfort his body and heart needed at that moment.

There is no wind.

*

Karasuno was losing almost every set, and they were beginning to struggle in the unbearable summer sun that beat down on the hills outside Shinzen as they sprinted out their pentalty laps. Suga's chest was heaving in the heat, his plain practice shirt sticking to him with the layer of sweat that followed every player around in the blazing sunshine. Every time they lost a set, the penalty dashes became more draining; since they were all already tired out from the running they couldn't put enough effort into the next sets. It was a really destructive spiral to be caught in, and Suga was feeling the effects of it already and it wasn't even midday.

As he walked down the hill beside a silently stewing Noya and a wiped out Asahi, hollers of joy could be heard from below. The three boys exchanged a confused glance, and Noya took off running to find out just _what_ was happening without him knowing about it.

"I don't know how he still has the energy to run after all this," Suga sighed, sliding his hands onto his hips and leaning back to bathe his sweaty forehead in the sun.

"Beats me..." Whined Asahi in response.

Eventually, the two exhausted men reached the bottom of the incline, right into the middle of the chaos of the yelling and hollering. Hinata was running towards a rather pertrified looking Kenma with a slice of watermelon in each hand. As he barrelled past Suga and Asahi, he laughed:

"The girls brought watermelon!" And carried on sprinting away towards his quiet friend.

Perked up by the revelation, Asahi and Suga head over towards the crowd gathered around the managers who were handing out watermelon to the players that were acting like they'd never eaten before in their lives. They slowly made their way between the jostle of volleyball players heading towards the shade of the buildings or trees with thick chunks of watermelon in their hands.

"Come on! Before it gets warm!" You grin, waving at Asahi and Suga. They notice your almost empty plate in your hand, and Suga frowns when he notices you're still wearing your jacket when everyone else has abandoned theirs. Gratefully, Asahi took two slices and passed one over to Suga.

"This looks glorious," Asahi commented, appraising the watery fruit in his palm. "And it's _cold,"_ He added with a satisfied sigh.

"Lifesaver," Suga mumbled, looking down at his own fruit rather than meeting your gaze.

Asahi glanced between the two, not sure what to do. Daichi had warned him, of course, so he knew what to avoid mentioning. But he wasn't a very sociable person, he struggled to figure out what to do in awkward situations like this. He just wanted the ground to swallow him whole, or turn around and sprint in the opposite direction to let you and Suga talk it out. You raise your eyebrows at Asahi, glancing over at Suga's deflated form. He just shrugs in response, not wanting to let anything slip when he wasn't supposed to. Suga really didn't need that right now.

"So... have you had any yet?" Asahi asks you, an awkward blush rising up his neck from how formal the conversation was becoming.

"Not yet- we've got enough left though, don't you worry." You grin, lifting your plate towards two passing Ubugawa players who quietly take slices with polite smiles and nods as they walk towards the respite of the shade.

"You both look like you need a sit down. Especially you," You say, pointing at Suga's deflated shoulders. You adjust the plate into one of your hands and reach up to press the back of your other against Suga's forehead. "You're burning up from running in the sun too long. Go sit in the shade and get something to drink. I don't want you getting sick."

Suga just mumbles back at you, finally looking up and meeting your gaze. He nods, the ghost of a smile dancing across his lips as he and Asahi turn together to find Daichi.

"He's tired." Asahi mouths at you as they both turn away, the tall brunette leaving you with a jovial wave.

Concerned, you furrow your brows but continue to pass the last few slices of watermelon around.

"Watermelon?" You ask a tall grey haired boy in the Nekoma gym shorts as he bounds towards you. He grins brightly, and you recognise him as the one who almost killed you the day before.

"Thank you," He says as he takes the last slice and you lower the plate to your side.

"...Are you busy?" Another boy in the Nekoma get-up asks as he approaches the both of you, and you have the fleeting realisation that he's their third year libero. The grey haired boy gallops off towards Hinata and the Nekoma setter that you hadn't actually had a chance to talk to yet.

"Not anymore," You reply, holding your empty plate up for him to see.

"Can you give me a hand for a minute? We've got someone with a busted nose." He explains, pointing a thumb over his shoulder towards the gym.

"Sure," You sigh, following him over towards the shadowed doorway of the gym, placing your empty plate on the first table you pass by.

You find Kuroo standing there, cupping at his profusely bleeding nose. He's simultaneously trying to stop it dripping onto his shirt too much while also trying to not ruin the court. His eyebrows furrow when he sees you, and if he could open his mouth without getting a small trail of his own blood running into it, he would have used that opportunity to spew profanaties at Yaku for choosing _you_ of all people to come and help. Things were really not going his way today. Or this week for that matter.

"How did this even happen?" You ask, placing a hand between Kuroo's shoulder blades and prompting him to lean forward. He flinched, panicked that you would accidentally shift his collar a little too low and tried to pass off his worried grimace as pain. He already felt guilty enough about last night, nevermind that Suga was staring at you wistfully from the top of the grassy slope. Out of everyone Yaku had to ask for help, it had to be you. It wasn't even on purpose - because Yaku didn't know about those damned matching tattoos you both sported.

"He tried to dig up one of Bokuto's spikes but he didn't get low enough." The straw-haired libero from Nekoma stated, hands on his hips and sweat on his brow.

You nodded, sighing and pushing Kuroo to take a seat on the steps in the gym doorway.

"Can you go get him an ice pack from the first aid station? I'll keep an eye on him." You ask the libero and he leaves with a half-smile.

You crouch in front of Kuroo, trying to pry his hand away from where it cupped his nose.

"Must have been one hell of a spike." You comment. He simply grunts in response from behind his now-bloody hand.

He kept his brows furrowed and his expression relatively blank while blood dribbled from his nose down to his chin. A few stray drops caught on your hands as you tried to press a tissue to his bleeding nostrils. Kuroo sat there on the steps in silence as you crouched in front of him, some rogue drops of his own blood falling onto your hands and when one fell onto your sleeve, he finally moved.

He pushed your sleeves back to your mid forearms, letting the edges of some of your tattoos peek out from the cuffs below your elbows before any more of his blood ruined your track jacket. You flushed, not sure what to say.

"Everyone knows. Fukurodani's managers can't keep a secret to save their lives." He sighs, not looking at you.

"Oh." You state, unsure what to say. You watched as his nose gradually stopped bleeding, leaving his mouth and your forearms smeared with his blood. You make him stay sat on the stairs, leaning slightly forward and resting his elbows on his knees just in case his nose starts acting up again. Yaku returns eventually, fresh ice pack in hand as he heads towards you. You thank him, taking the ice pack and passing it to Kuroo.

"Yaku, can you go round the team up? I'll sit this next game out so swap Lev into the front row." Kuroo instructs, not fighting you as you began to try wipe away the blood from his nose with a damp tissue. The other boy walks off, nodding at his captain and not mentioning the downcast look on his features.

Gently, you clean the blood away from Kuroo, tenderly feeling the bone in his nose for damage.

"Hey dude," Came a voice from behind you, from the broad shadow cast over your frame you figured it could only be Fukurodani's ace. Kuroo just glanced up through his dark eyelashes at the stranger but you didn't even turn away from your work. "Sorry about busting your nose up. Is it bad?"

Kuroo shrugs in response, not really in a position to talk.

"I'm no doctor, but I don't think It's broken." You pipe up, moving Kuroo's hand to hold the ice in place. "It's probably going to hurt for a while and the swelling might be annoying, but he won't die. The ice pack and some painkillers will be enough."

"It's a good job you've got your lady friend to clean you up." Bokuto laughs from behind your shoulder.

"Knock it off." Kuroo warns as you turned his head to the side to clean the dried blood curled under the edge of his jaw.

"But she is ... isn't she?" Bokuto asks, and then his eyes immediately widened at the realisation of what he had said. Kuroo's eyes narrowed darkly at the bumbling idiot he called a dear friend and was thankful that you couldn't see Bokuto from your crouched position. Panicked, Bokuto made some wild hand gestures to you, then to Kuroo, then pointed at his back with a confused face - his hands were moving a mile a minute trying to convey his inner panic. This was the second time in less than twenty-four hours that his loud mouth had accidentally let something slip he shouldn't have.

"What are you talking about?" You ask, finally standing up and wiping your bloodied hands on the nearest clean strip of tissue.

"Some stupid rumour started because I let you borrow my coat yesterday." Kuroo lies, grimacing as he adjusted the ice over the bridge of his nose. His lips were starting to go numb from the cold.

"I told you I could find my own spare," You chide, grinning at his disgruntled expression.

Kuroo just shrugs in response, stretching his legs out into the space you previously occupied. "People were going to make a rumour about _something_ \- we know what happened and that's all that really matters."

"It's fine. Everyone will find something more entertaining to talk about before long." You wave them both away, ordering Kuroo to keep the ice on his nose until the next set was over. You left him in the care of Bokuto, although considering how Kuroo's nose had almost been shattered in the first place, maybe leaving them together wasn't the smartest of ideas.

"So, she doesn't know?" Bokuto asks quietly once you're out of earshot.

"She doesn't know." Kuroo confirms. As he watches you walk away, he wondered if he actually felt as guilty as he thought he did. Because talking to you in passing was _nice,_ and afterwards he would somtimes be hit with a fleeting thought of how glad he was that it just so happened you and him shared those tattoos. But then he remembered the crushed look on Suga's face, the boy that followed you around the camp like a love-struck puppy and asked about you whenever you weren't in the room.

And he realised that yes, he did feel very guilty indeed.

*

The bus was finally loaded up, with no thanks to the first or second years. You and Asahi had spent the afternoon packing away the classrooms you had stayed in while Kiyoko and Suga had carried all the bags back down to the parked bus. Daichi had vanished with Coach under the pretence of having a last meeting with the Tokyo captains to thank them for the hospitality, but you wondered if they'd just wanted to avoid the work of tidying up.

Probably both.

Everyone was saying goodbye: Hinata and Kenma were exchanging phone numbers, Daichi was in conversation with Kuroo and Yaku while you found yourself receiving goodbye hugs from the Fukurodani managers and Bokuto (who just didn't want to be left out). You moved over to where Daichi and Kuroo were talking, hoping to say goodbye to Kuroo without him avoiding you like he had been for the last few days.

You slide up behind Daichi, stepping close to his side as he shuffled back to let you into their small circle.

"Just came to say goodbye," You say, trying to smile at Kuroo while he avoided your gaze.

"We should really be going," Daichi admits, patting you on the shoulder. "We'll see you at nationals." He grins, cheekily goading Kuroo into a response.

"When we beat you," Yaku laughs, shaking Daichi's hand and giving you a brief one-armed hug.

"I'd _love_ to see you try!" You laugh back, giving Yaku a light squeeze and turning towards Kuroo expectantly. He just puts his hands in his pockets and grins awkwardly at you and bids you goodbye with a quiet wave. You clear your throat, looking to Daichi to save you from the awkward situation. With a few more smiles and awkward farewells, you finally had to leave.

As you all piled onto the bus, filling up the tiny rows of seats one by one as the rest of the Tokyo teams gathered along the front of Shinzen to wave you all off. You found yourself sitting towards the front of the bus with Daichi - while Suga and Asahi paired up in the seats on the opposite side of the row. Everyone was gathered in quiet conversation, some of the boys drifting off to sleep as the bus trundled along the Tokyo highway back towards home.

Nervously, you turned away from looking out of the window to glance at Daichi.

"Can I ask you something?" You say quietly, fiddling with your hands in your lap as Daichi turned to you with a warm smile.

"What's on your mind?"

"Do you think Suga is mad at me?" You whisper, gaze flickering between Daichi and your lap.

"Why do you think that?" He asks warmly, turning in his seat to face you. His broad shoulders block the rest of the asile from view and you're thankful that Suga is on the other side of the row.

"Because he was avoiding me at the training camp. After the first day he... I don't know. He just kind of acted like we weren't friends?" You look up at Daichi, uncertain as to if you made the right decision bringing this up. "And Kuroo was the same. I mean we only really talked as acquaintences for the first couple of days, and then suddenly he avoids me at all costs. Did I do something to annoy them? I mean I know I've never been to one of the camps before so maybe I did something that ruined it for-"

"I can confidently say you did nothing wrong." Daichi cuts you off, taking one of your hands gently in his. "I promise, you did nothing wrong. I don't know Kuroo too well either, we only really speak at matches and training camps. But I know Suga. And I know he isn't mad at you. If I had to guess I would say they're both equally stressed about the Pre-lims. I know Nekoma all want this Nationals show-down as much as we do. Suga has been throwing himself into practice a lot more as of late." He reassures you, keeping a firm grip on your hand, grounding you from your negative thoughts. You nod, trying to mull over his words.

"I guess Asahi did say Suga was tired the other day," You admit, squeezing Daichi's hand for support.

"Everyone is worn out right now and everyone is tired and stressed. It's nothing you've done, I promise." He reiterates, offering you a fond smile and a firm pat to the shoulder before you both returned to facing the backs of the chairs in front of you.

"Thank you, Daichi." You say, still somewhat uncertain about if you believe his words or not.

Sure, you supposed everyone has seemed a bit at the end of their tethers recently, but you'd never seen Suga like this in the last year, even when you guys were sitting the end of year exams and he'd pulled all nighters studying with you. Part of you could believe that maybe Kuroo was just stressed too - you did barely know him after all. Maybe you were being a bit presumptuous to think you were closer than acquaintences at best, you'd only ever talked to him in passing and it was never anything beyond small talk.

Despite the reassurance from Daichi, there was still that dull feeling of worry settling into the pit of your stomach the further you got from Tokyo.

*

"Nekoma made it past the preliminaries!" Hinata cried, barreling towards the gym at full speed. He held his phone aloft, waving it at everyone he passed by. Kageyama yelled loudly after him, most likely some form of scolding for leaving him behind. You turned around, sliding your hands into your pockets as the ginger sprinted towards you.

"Nekoma just made it past the preliminaries." Hinata stated again, this time looking directly at you. He was clearly looking for someone to share his enthusiasm that they were all one step closer to their trashcan showdown.

"How'd you find that out?" You asked, pausing in place as you waited for Hinata to catch up to you. Daichi was just unlocking the clubrooms for you to all go change before practice started.

"Kenma texted me." He replied, hands proudly on his hips. "I got his number at the training camp - we talk all the time."

You smiled, nodding at him resolutely. "Well, that's great news. We just need to pass the prelims too, now."

The team slowly converged around the stairs of the clubroom, slowly making their way up the metal structure. Hinata was excitedly babbling on about how he simply couldn't _wait_ to see Kenma again at Nationals, and how he was going to show Lev how high he could jump. Asahi and Suga fell in step with you both, rounding up the back of the pack.

"What's got you so excited?" Suga asked over your shoulder.

"Nekoma got through the preliminaries. Kenma told me so." Hinata replied, pocketing his phone swiftly. He had a smug grin on his face, almost as if he was part of the Nekoma team - it was sweet, though, to see Hinata so proud of his friend.

"Good to hear," Suga grinned in response, looking down at his feet as you all filed up the stairs.

"Hey, Hinata?" You asked quietly.

"Yup?" He replied cheerily, swinging around to face you, still grinning.

"Has Kenma mentioned- has he said anything about Kuroo?" You add, concerned how you were wording things - people were sure to get the wrong idea from your question.

"Only that he made it through the preliminaries."

"Has he mentioned Kuroo seeming ... mad recently?"

Hinata shook his head, swinging his arms as he hopped onto the top step and looked down at you. "Would you like me to ask?"

"...Could you ask if Kuroo is mad at me? He seemed really strange towards the end of the training camp." You request, twiddling your hands in your pockets and avoiding eye contact with everyone around you.

"Sure thing!" Hinata cried, taking off towards the clubroom with a spring in his step. Suga smiles at you slightly as he passes, but it does not slip your notice that he refuses to hold your gaze for longer than a second or two before he is gone.

You turn away, wondering where you went wrong.

*

You stood in the middle of the aisle, completely alone in the stands. Kiyoko was right on the pitchside and Yachi was as close to the court as she could get. Only one manager was allowed on the team bleachers, and rightfully Kiyoko took that spot. Yachi had decided to stay as close to the scoreboard as she could, as if she could will herself onto the court simply by hoping hard enough. You'd decided to get a more bird's eye view of the game, as was befitting of your team's mascot. The only real downside was that you were completely alone - you'd found yourself in a completely isolated part of the stands compared to the Karasuno supporters - a result of a wrong turn in one of the winding corridors of the stadium.

But you were there now, and you wouldn't move for fear of missing a single second of your team playing their hearts out against Inarizaki in the Tokyo stadium.

They were fighting with all they had, just to earn that spot in the finals against Nekoma. For their coach, and for themselves. For the school, for the team, for everyone that had had a hand in getting them to where they were in that moment. They were fighting, giving every single piece of themselves for the right to challenge Nekoma in the showdown they'd all been dreaming of since the start of the year.

So you dashed forwards to the railing that overhung the court, trying to get as good of a view as you could. The crowds had started picking up the longer the Inarizaki vs. Karasuno game progressed, seats filling and more people leaning against the railing beside you. You didn't care. You were staying to watch your team, proudly wearing the Karasuno jacket for all to see.

Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder, and you turned around slightly to glance at the stranger.

"Don't you have a seat?" Yaku asked, folding his arms across his chest. You shook your head in response, immediately turning around to watch Asahi serve.

"Do you want to come sit with us? We have some seats saved a bit higher up. It's a good view, and you don't have to stand down here by yourself." He adds, talking to the back of your head as you stared, enraptured at the action only a few feet below you.

"Okay," You reply, turning around to look at him as the first time-out is called. He leads you up towards the Nekoma seating a few rows higher than where you'd been watching from. In your new position, you could see the entire court, you could watch the whole game at once rather than the narrower field of view you'd had before.

"How did you know I was down there?" You ask as you follow him in slipping between the rows of bleachers.

"Lev spotted you, Kuroo asked if I would come get you on my way back from the bathrooms." Yaku replies, stepping over a stray sports bag in the middle of the seating.

"That was kind of him," You comment, turning back to briefly glance at the court to make sure the teams hadn't started playing again. Yaku just glances at your distracted face, and quietly hums to himself. He isn't sure if he should say anything, but realises that if anybody is going to say something it should be Kuroo. Yaku had finally found out what had happened at the training camp to set their captain on edge so badly, and realised that he should just stay out of it as best as he could and let things work themselves out in their own time.

"We're back," Yaku announces, stepping past Kuroo and Kenma to take a seat beside Kai on the far end of the line.

"Thanks for inviting me up here," You say, bowing your head slightly out of awkward respect. You still didn't really know where you stood with Kuroo, especially not after his rather quick attitude change towards you back at the camp.

"Seemed safer for you to be up here than alone down there," Kuroo replies. He makes a brief hand gesture towards the empty chairs surrounding you. He clears his throat awkwardly. "Take a seat, the view is good."

You nod, taking a seat beside Kuroo, effectively sandwiching him between yourself and Kenma who was quietly trying to sink into his jacket. Kuroo found himself watching you more closely than he was watching the game, frequently turning his attention over to where you leaned forward in your seat and gripped your knees in anticipation of Noya's recieve or Hinata's spike. He watched your forehead crease with worry when Inarizaki was serving, or when one of Karasuno's spikes got quickly shut down. He watched you break out into delirious grinning when Asahi pushed past the block to claw another point back.

He felt guilty all the while, but still struggled with himself internally if he _should_ feel guilty, considering you were literally meant to be together - the marks on your backs proved it. He constantly wondered to himself if he should come clean, or let things happen on their own. But would he get another chance to speak to you? It was almost the end of the school year, and after Nationals there would be no reason for the two teams to come together to train again until the start of the next school year - by which time the third year students would have all left. Was this his only chance? Or would he have to trust that you were meant to run into each other again sometime further down the line? Could he bring himself to trust in fate, when an opportunity was right in front of him?

These thoughts only served to send him further into his own confusion - because eventually he began to mull over if he was only thinking this way because it was _fated_ to happen. The internal turmoil of if he was thinking this way of his own violition or because he was destined to was sending him into a mild existential crisis. He could only hope that his confusion wasn't playing across his face, or if it was then he hoped you would mistake it for concentration as you both watched the game.

Kuroo was hurting, and he was sure that down on the pitch below you, Suga was also hurting. The selfless part of him argued he should step aside, but the selfish part of him wanted his own pain to stop, he wanted to do what the universe had decided he should do. He wanted to trust that fate had good reasons, and that things would all work out for the better if he put himself first.

"You look worried," You comment, quickly dragging him out of his thoughts. "Scared that you'll lose against us?" You goad.

He snorts, folding his arms across his chest. "I'm just worried you guys won't be enough of a challenge."

"You might want to tell that to your face, you seem terrified that you're going to lose. Is seeing us in action more than you bargained for?" You grin, raising an eyebrow as you turn in your seat to face him.

"Do you want to make a bet on it? Nekoma doesn't get taken down by the likes of you country folk." He grins devillishly, leaning towards you. He steels himself, trying to hide his embarrassment just to try and put you out of your comfort zone. He succeeds, seeing a flush creep across your cheeks at his proximity.

"I bet you'll lose, no contest." You throw back, trying to not let him get to you.

"I bet we win, no contest." He replies without missing a beat. "What does the winner get?" He asks.

You shrug, not breaking eye contact. "You proposed the bet, surely _you_ have an idea of what you want to hand over when you lose."

"I'll think of something."

"How do I know that you won't run away when you lose?" You laugh, folding your arms as you watch him recline in his seat.

"On my honour as captain, I would never," He grins, glancing back at the court for a second. "But if you're so worried about it, why don't you give me your number so I can't run away?"

Part of you thinks he's joking, that he's only doing this to get a rise out of you like you know he is wont to do, but another part of you wants it to be real. And you don't even fully understand why, but you don't want it to just be part of the back-and-forth you have going. You pause, watching as his eyes flick between you and the court in what you can only guess to be nervousness.

"Sure, you'd best be thinking of your forfeit quickly." You finally reply, handing him your phone and turning back towards the court as Inarizaki prepares to serve.

From a few metres below you both, right on the side of the court, Suga stands completely still. His fresh, unused jersey feels stiff against his skin. Eventually, he turns back towards his team on the court, tearing his eyes away from the black and red jackets high in the stands. He tears his eyes away from your face as you laugh, frown and grin at the man talking to you. He wants you to watch the game again, like he knew you were before. He wants you to notice, but he realises that you won't see him.

After all, he is only standing on the sidelines.

*

Daichi had promised that this would be a fun event. A little gathering of all the third year players they knew from high school, meaning other teams would be there too. Suga was frankly, exhausted, but Daichi had incessantly twisted his ear about this get together for the entire week and when Friday finally hit Suga was more drained than ever. 

He’d been teaching all day and all he really wanted to do was go home and relax, to sleep early and wake up late on Saturday morning, to collapse into bed and let sleep wash away the aches in his tired muscles. 

But no. Daichi was insisting that they all come back together for some high school reunion that simply couldn’t wait. 

So that’s how Suga found himself at a restaurant on the outskirts of Tokyo, still wearing his button up and slacks from teaching, swirling his drink around in his hand. 

Daichi had also somehow convinced Asahi to take time away from work to join them, so Suga found himself in idle conversation with Asahi and Kai - one of the Nekoma alumni. They were both quiet souls so Suga didn’t find himself in any forced small talk, it was the nice respite he needed from his long day. 

Yawning, he stretched his arm over the back of his chair and leaned into the conversation a little more, only to be pulled out of it by some movement behind Kai’s shoulder.

The door swung open and the refreshing summer breeze passed through the stifling atmosphere of the room. 

“Sorry we’re late.” Someone announced, and Suga vaguely realised that he knew that voice from somewhere. It only took him a moment to recognise who the person was, or rather, the woman who had entered. She was dressed similar to everyone in the room, some form of smart-casual that could have easily passed for office clothes. She walked right in, smiling at her old friends and greeting the people she hadn’t seen in years. 

Normally, Suga would have been happy to see you. If not for a few details about what he was seeing. 

The ring on your finger that was barely visible in the dim lighting, the man behind you with a gentle hand on your shoulder as he turned to talk to the ex-Fukurodani captain, but most of all, the dark haired child cradled at your hip. 

It was unmistakably you after all these years. Still smiling, talking to Daichi as if you had never left high school. Suga was frozen in his seat, unsure if he should try and greet you or stay quiet. 

Tetsurou headed over to where Suga was seated, patting Kai on the back good-naturedly and slipping into a chair beside Kai that nobody had touched all evening. 

“Long time no see, Kai.” He greeted, turning to his old teammate. “And I haven’t seen you since nationals.” He grinned, gesturing between Asahi and Suga. 

“It has been a while,” Asahi replied, ever the wallflower. 

“How have you guys been then? I hear you’re a first rate designer now, Asahi.” Tetsurou attempted to strike up a conversation, reaching for the glass pitcher of water in the middle of the table.  


Asahi scratched his beard idly, bouncing small talk back and forth between Tetsurou and Kai while Suga began to zone out. 

Suga was too busy watching the way your daughter laughed at Bokuto making animated hand gestures and tweaking her nose. She looked just like you, and if not for the striking black hair of her father he would almost be able to have his guilty fantasy about it being his daughter. He watched as you shifted your weight while you held her, and he watched as Bokuto messed with her hair and you smiled at something Daichi was talking to you about. 

It hurt him, he would admit. He believed he had moved on years ago, but an old wound had been opened simply by the sight before him. Daichi shot Suga an almost imperceptable glance across the room that unmistakably said ' _I'm sorry. I didn't think this through,'_ but Suga found he had no animosity towards his captain and old friend, because he'd even convinced himself that the had actually moved on long ago too.  


He excused himself to the bathroom.

"So you're putting all those years of keeping Tanaka in line to good use then?" You laughed, teasing Daichi about his new policing job.

He just shrugged. "It's quite boring actually, I feel like I'm over qualified thanks to those guys." He replied with a grin.

"Uncle Bokuto you're messing my hair up!" Your daughter pouted as she wiggled away from the large man-child trying to play with her. In retalliation she shot a hand out to tweak his spikey grey strands which only made the man retalliate with a barrage of tickles. She cackled, wiggling wildly in your arms as Bokuto continued to annoy the child. Suddenly, you feel the weight in your arms being lifted and you turn to see Kuroo smiling down at you.

"I'm going to take her to the park around the back. C'mon Bokuto, let my wife talk to her friends in peace." He says, pressing a fleeting kiss to the crown of your head as he takes your daughter and his highschool friend outside to play an impromptu game of tag.

The evening sky is dark, but through the back door of the restaurant there is a beer garden and a small park. He thinks they're alone in the dusky evening when his daughter and Bokuto take off running towards the swings together, but movement out of the corner of his eye startles him.

"Thought you were going to the bathroom," Kuroo states more than asks as he heads over to Suga's form leaning against the outside wall, staring at the sky.

"I just needed some fresh air." The other man replies.

"So- how's teaching?" Kuroo asks, trying to strike up a friendly conversation as he watches his friend and daughter have a competition to see who can get the highest on the swing-set.

"Tiring," Suga laughs as he exhales. "But worth it. Wouldn't swap my job for the world."

Kuroo nods in the silence, trying to find something to fill the space with.

"So, full-time scientist now, huh?" Suga asks, equally as awkwardly. Neither man looks at the other.

"For a while I wanted to stick with volleyball, but I'm glad I didn't." Kuroo admits, anxiously turning his wedding ring on his finger. "I'm sorry, Suga." He finally breaks, looking over at the other man.

"Don't apologise. It's not your fault."

"No- it hurt you. I am genuinely sorry. I wish I could make it up to you, but I don't know how. I'm _sorry_." Kuroo mumbles, almost as if he's trying to forgive himself more than ask forgiveness from someone else.

"Don't apologise. You won, fair and square." Suga's voice waivers slightly.

"Suga-"

"Congratulations, I genuinely am happy for you two," Suga interrupts, holding his hand out for Kuroo to shake. Suga turns and heads back inside, leaving Kuroo to stand and watch his daughter laugh as Bokuto pushes her higher on the swings.

And Kuroo realises that no matter what, in that moment, he doesn't really feel like a winner.

Suga slowly pushes the doors open, making his way back inside the stifling heat of the restaurant. Despite the weight that had been taken from his mind after speaking to your _husband,_ there was still a lot of healing that he needed. It would take time and he would have to stop lying to himself; stop throwing himself into work as a distraction; he would have to pick himself up and build everything back from the ground up.

It would take a while, but Suga had all the time in the world at that moment - there was no deadline to be chasing after, it was just a Friday evening with his high school friends. It was just another day in the year, but he wasn't alone in his apartment for a change.

"Any plans to go travelling with Noya again?" You asked, leaning your elbows onto the table.

Suga took a deep breath, heading towards his seat at the table. He knew it wasn't your fault, and it wasn't his fault either. It was just how things were, and nobody was to blame for that.

At the end of the day, you were his friend, and if he allowed that to change because of unforseen circumstances then what type of man would that make him? Not the man he wished to become, that was certain. 

"I do really want to travel again, but it depends on when work picks up. If I can take time away then I'll go find Noya wherever he's gone this time." Asahi replied, taking a sip from his beer. "It's good to get out there, though, gives me inspiration for my work." He added.

"I'd love to travel, but I don't really have time. Maybe in the future." You say, breaking one of the complimentary breadsticks and breaking it in half. "But you've changed so much since high school! You've really come out of your shell, Asahi." You smile, nibbling away at your food.

He grins in response, rubbing at his beard, equally proud and flustered at your compliment. "I guess I have."

"Hey Suga! How have you been?" You ask, noticing your friend approaching.

"Good, could be better," He laughed, dropping into his seat opposite you. "I had to come straight from work for this, so I could really go to bed right now." He sighs.

"Where do you work?" You rested your head in your palm and he tried to keep his staring to a friendly level of eye contact.

"Elementary school teacher."

"No way! Although, that makes sense. You always looked after the first years." You grinned at him with awe. "Now you've told me, I can't actually imagine a job that fits you better."

"Don't get me wrong," He began, leaning back in his chair and taking a drink from the wine glass he abandoned earlier. "I'm exhausted. But I wouldn't want to do anything else. It's great to watch them grow up, you know?"

Your reply was cut short when you felt the place between yourself and Asahi shift as someone dropped into the chair. Kuroo had returned, your daughter perched on one of his knees as he leaned his free arm along the back of your chair. You smiled at him briefly as you noticed his arrival, soon turning back to your conversation.

"And what about you?" Suga asked as he finished his glass of wine. He tried not to stare at your daughter with a sense of melancholy as Kuroo bounced her on his knee absent-mindedly while listening to something Kai was talking about.

"Me? Fully trained doctor right now."

"You know, that's not what I expected," Suga laughed. "But I can't imagine it's easy."

"It's not - some days it drives me up the wall. Worth it though."

Anything you said beyond that point fell on deaf ears, because Suga found himself swallowing a lump in his throat as he watched your daughter tentatively reach over to Asahi's long hair, carding her fingers through it bashfully. Surprised, the brunette jumped in his seat as he felt a gentle tug on his hair, not contained by a messy bun for once.

"Don't do that, darling. Not without asking." Kuroo warned gently.

"No - it's okay." Asahi mumbled, trying to not laugh every so often as her gentle pulling tickled his scalp. She was trying her best to braid something presentable into it, but his hair was too smooth and constantly slipped out between her tiny fingers.

And for the next couple of hours, Suga kept as much friendly conversation going as he could, for once enjoying the company of others rather than just his own at his apartment. He found himself watching you, watching your daughter, watching Kuroo, watching you interact. He watched your daughter mess with Asahi's hair, and he watched her eventually tire and slump against Kuroo's chest. Everyone finished their food gradually, some migrating to the bar, some wandering outside and some excusing themselves early. Truthfully, Suga was exhausted and wanted to leave, he wanted to go home so badly, but seeing you again kept him where he sat. 

He knew he couldn't have you, and he accepted that. But he was your friend, and you were his. Maybe his heart was hurting all over again, but he refused to run away from the conversation either. He'd done enough running in his life.

"I think we should go, get her to bed." Kuroo eventually sighed to you, gesturing to your daughter who was fully asleep, curled up against his chest, his tie balled into her tiny fist as she snored. 

"Yeah, I could sleep right now too," You laughed, stretching your back. You stood, gently taking your daughter from Kuroo so he could stand up.

"It was nice seeing you all again," Kuroo yawned, reaching over to hug Kai and firmly slap him on the back.

"Goodnight, enjoy your travelling, Asahi. Tell Noya I hope he's well. And you-" You turned towards Suga. "Don't be a stranger, Suga." You added with a smile as you headed towards the door, Kuroo leading the way.

"Call me Koushi," Suga whispered, watching your retreating form with a stray tear gathered in the corner of his eye. "...Please."

**Author's Note:**

> i need to write something for suga now to make up for this don't i? because oh my god im so sorry suga i love you - you didnt deserve this


End file.
